This afternoon I had the privilege of cooking for my oldest and dearest friend and new mom, Georgia.
Here are some tips and rules that I like to follow when bringing a good friend a meal.
Find a time that is most helpful to mom. I know it is exciting when baby is first born; you want to visit, but ask mom when she needs the most help. A lot of new moms have tons of help the first two weeks after giving birth and are inundated with people offering meals, husbands being home from work and family visiting. Then around the 3-6 week mark, all the help stops, reality sets in, baby sleeps less and mom is wondering what the hell she was thinking when she decided to have a baby. Or maybe that was just me. Point is, a couple weeks out is sometimes a better time to bring a meal than that first week.
Organize other friends to help. I always ask new mom's if they would be comfortable with me emailing her friends and setting up a meal delivery schedule. The website Food Tidings makes it super simple. Some new moms are not comfortable asking (or having someone ask on their behalf), but for those who are, it is very helpful.
Ask what mom is eating. Between allergies, cravings and avoidances due to nursing and/or medication; you want to make sure you are making something that mom can enjoy. I remember being so excited for a meal to be delivered after my first was born and I was too exhausted to move, then someone managed to bring a meal of everything I don't like in one dish. Brett enjoyed it, but I think I had a PB & J that night.
See if mom needs anything before you shop for groceries. Let mom know that while you're shopping for groceries to make her meal that you can pick up anything that she needs at the store. Nipple cream, milk, formula - new moms always have something they need to pick up... if they can make it out of the house. So, save your friend the trip.
Over cook. Bring a lot of food even if you're only cooking for two. It's nice to have leftovers when you're in the hustle and bustle of sleepless nights and adjusting to having a new baby.
Bring your meals in a disposable container. I like the metal ones that come with a clear plastic top. They can go in the oven for reheating, you can label them with whats inside or heating instructions and they can be recycled after use. Glad makes good plastic containers as well, but make sure you let mom know that you do not need them back. The last thing a new mom needs is to worry about having to clean your casserole dish and return it to you.
Don't stay to hang out. Unless you have previously talked to mom about staying for a visit, delivering a meal should be just that. New moms are dealing with exhaustion, hormones and irrational fears. Having to be "on" for visitors can be hard.
Do not bring your kids to drop off the meal. A new mom is trying to wrap her brain around her new child, she doesn't need yours making her more anxious. If they have to come with, it is best to leave them in the car while you run to the door to make a quick delivery.
Don't bring pizza. Mom and dad can always order pizza when they are in a pinch and need a hot meal. If you aren't secure with your abilities in the kitchen or don't have time to make extra meals, consider picking up from mom's favorite restaurant instead of grabbing a pizza.
Bring booze! That needed an explanation point. Whether it is a six pack of beer or a bottle of wine, having something around to remind mom and dad that they are still adults and can have a life after baby is important. My favorite label to bring new moms is called "Mommy's Time Out" which I can typically find at our local Total Wine store.
Other items to consider including:
Dessert (I like to make a cake with baby's name)
Mom's favorite snack food or beverage (especially for nursing moms who are famished and dehydrated all the time!)
A gift card and menu to a take out restaurant near by (more meals!)
Items for breakfasts
A second meal to stick in the freezer
Notes for moms who have older children as well:
Bring breakfast/lunch items for them to serve their older kids. My friend, Christy, brought me a bunch of sandwich bags full of pre-made pancakes. I froze them and heated them up for breakfast for the kids each morning. It was amazing. I love this idea! Chicken nuggets, mini frozen pizzas, etc. would be equally effective.
Offer to take the older kids off mom's hands for a little while. This doesn't need an explanation, but when you return said child(ren) and mom asks how they behaved, say they were perfect. Even if they were horrible brats. Mom needs the win, and hearing that her child was an angel is reassuring. Someone nit picking their child's behavior is not.
Is there anything I am missing? What fun things do you like to do to make a new mom feel special?
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