"Do you wanna know what its like to have a fourth [child]? Just imagine you're drowning, and then someone hands you a baby... I haven't slept in 7 years." - Jim Gaffigan

Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year!

I'm not one for New Years resolutions. As a matter of fact I get annoyed every year as the resolutioners all invade the gym for January and February, making parking a nightmare. But I need some motivation to get my act together, so here it goes.

1. Post a "picture of the day" to my blog daily. I stole this from my friend Hope's Blog and I love it.

2. Look better naked by 2014 by making small attainable changes to my diet or workout routine each month. Starting tomorrow, I will be posting photos (the scary "before" picture goes up tomorrow), and a wrap up of how each change I make changes my life. More on this tomorrow.

Last glutinous night of 2012 starts now! Hope everyone has a safe and happy new year!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Shit Happens

The past 18 days have been my own personal hell. However, if you know me you know that I try not to take anything too seriously so I usually don't let things get to me. Until my babies are sick. For over two weeks. Then, I might lose it.

This month I've been sleep deprived, pulled in all directions at home, up to my eyeballs in laundry, bickering like crazy with my husband (sad how we take out frustrations on the people we love most), and through it all I have also been sick myself. But apparently I've been too busy to really let the situation sink in because through it all I haven't cried or lost it once.

Then this morning (after a long night with my sick baby), I got lost and was twenty minutes late for Steven's follow up doctors appointment. Then after stripping him down to be weighed I found out that he had lost 5 ounces since getting sick. So there I was, sitting in the exam room with Steven wearing nothing but a diaper sitting on my lap.

Feeling very defeated, I finally let all the emotion out and started weeping. And at that moment (in true BeVard form) my sweet baby (obviously in search of some comic relief) unleashed the most enormous poop of his life. All over me.

It was disgusting and embarrassing and gave me the first good laugh I've had all month.





Saturday, December 22, 2012

Sick

I have been a mom for about 5 years and 4 months and in that time I have never once needed to take one of my children to the ER. Until this morning.

First let me give you a little wrap of the past 17 days.

Wednesday December 5 - I end up in the hospital with a bad kidney infection caused by a couple kidney stones. For the next four days my fevers range from 101-104 and I can hardly stand the pain. After a follow up with the urologist I learn that I will need surgery in January to remove a larger stone.

Saturday December 8 - Campbell wakes up around midnight and throws up until 2am.

Sunday December 9 - Peter starts complaining that he doesn't feel good.

Monday December 10 - Peter stays home from school with a fever. That evening he is diagnosed with Strep Throat. At 9pm he starts throwing up and continues to throw up and have diarrhea until Wednesday night. Around 10pm Brett starts throwing up, and I start an hour later.

Tuesday December 11 - Brett and I kept the kids alive. That was the only thing we can do other than throw up.

Wednesday December 12 - Aaron gets the fever/stomach virus, which we believe is Norovirus.

Friday December 14 - We finally think Peter is well enough to head back to school.

Saturday December 15 - Aaron starts coughing. Like the worst cough I've ever heard out of one of my kids.

Sunday December 16-Wednesday December 19 - Peter and Aaron produce enough boogers and coughing fits for a lifetime. Brett's and my immune systems work to ward off the cough/cold unsuccessfully.

Thursday December 20 - Campbell (who now also has the cough/cold) cries.... The. Entire. Day.

Friday December 21 (the end of the world is coming!) - Campbell keeps screaming and crying. Around 8pm Steven starts crying. Cries all night.

Saturday December 22 - around 5am we notice that Steven has a fever. Go directly to ER. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

So here we sit. Waiting. Watching two Qtips being shoved up my baby's nose. Watching my baby get an IV. Watching him get a catheter put in his penis to get a urine sample (really? Can't they just wait for him to pee? Babies pee every 5 minutes). Watching an X-ray tech put a tiny lead cover on him so they can take an X-ray of his tiny baby lungs.

The doc just came in. Steven's white blood cells were elevated. They would like to keep him over night. Over night? It is 8am. That means you want me to sit in this room watching him get poked and tested for another 24 hours? Awesome.

X-ray comes back clear. Thank God!

Nose culture does not. Little guy has RSV (I'll have to google that and read more but they say it is normal).

IV antibiotics are being started. And (yay) we get to go home with instruction to watch fever and follow up at pediatrician tomorrow.

I would give every gift under my tree just to have our health back. This has been a tough month. Not really the dose of "this is what having four kids is really like" that I was looking for in the first 7 weeks of my son's life; but that's the reality.



Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Truth About Nursing

Alternate title - Why I Need a Boob Job.

I am currently nursing my baby. Like right now as I type on my phone there is a baby sustaining life with a product of my body. This is something I enjoy throwing in my husbands face on a frequent basis.

Brett - did you get a chance to find that paper work I need for our re-fi?

Me - no, I was busy all day producing milk to keep our baby alive!

Clearly, I win. What did he do all day? Work to earn money to feed me and the other three kids? Doubtful.

I wasn't always the pro-boob mom that I am today. While I did nurse all four of my children I must admit that it has taken some time for me to "get" it. And by "get it" I mean actually want to do it.

When I had Peter five years ago I told myself that I would nurse him for 12 weeks. And that is exactly how long, to the day, that I nursed him and I hated every minute. No one told me that it hurt, or that there was a such thing as nursing covers. God forbid the crazy strangers who feel the need to give you advice in the shopping market actually give you tips you will need!!!

"Hey lady, when that baby pops out make sure you have a truck full of Lanolin to lather on your chapped nipples!" - advice I could have used.

When Aaron came along I had discovered nursing covers. This was a game changer. Nursing was a traumatic and mortifying experience with Peter, so it only happened in the privacy of my own bedroom. With Aaron I could nurse anywhere. And I did. Right in the middle of Fair Oaks Mall? Check! I was positive that everyone was staring, they weren't.

I nursed Aaron for about 4 months. And even though I had my cover to protect my modesty, I never enjoyed it or felt bonded to him because of it. The minute I got mastitis I was done and happy to give him bottles of formula.

By the time I was pregnant with Campbell, something had changed in me. Whether it was knowing other moms who could give me advice or just being more confident as a mom myself I was hell bent on nursing her for a minimum of a year.

Then she shows up and refuses to nurse under a cover. Oh and she was a biter. And I got thrush and mastitis and she just about chewed one of my nipples off. But dammit she wasn't going to break me. I got her to ten months before my milk supply dried up from pregnancy and she lost interest. She weened herself in two days and I was actually heart broken when she stopped. Even though nursing Campbell was tough, I did enjoy it. We did bond.

Now four kids later I finally get it. Besides all the health benefits (which you never had to sell me on. That stuff is like a miracle cure for everything), nursing is my only alone time to enjoy my baby.

You know, unless Campbell is awake, in which case she sits ON TOP of the baby while he nurses. It is super fun.

Hi... Again

So, I've tried this before.  I had a blog about my new family after my first was born.  Then I had a blog about my Dad.  Then I had a real life off the internet and posting about it seemed too overwhelming.  But I figure now that I have a fourth child, it is a great time to throw another log on the fire.  What the hell else do I have going on - this sounds like a novel idea!  Ha... yeah right.

Really, I just found an app that will allow me to post from my phone (which make it easy). 

Plus, I realize that since my kids don't have baby books (YET... I have big plans for hours of scrapbooking every day in 6 years once they are all in school) this will be a good way to remember all the crap they do that makes me laugh... or want to lock them in closets. 

Also, after five years of parenting and meeting other moms, I realize that most people want the world to think that they are perfect, even though they aren't.  And that makes other people (especially moms) feel like they aren't good enough.  And that sucks because moms generally rock no matter how much they feel like they are failing (and we ALL feel like we are failing at some point). 

This blog will not be sugar coated, it will be the honest to God, I got puked on five times last week, my kids watch too much TV, sometimes I want to kill my husband even though he is amazing, what the fuck happened to my body, nitty gritty truth of parenting four amazing (annoying) kids.

If you don't understand sarcasm and dislike the occasional curse word that is needed for emphasis (and yes, when referring to what the fuck happened to my body, it is needed), or if you don't have a sense of humor about life, or if you dislike run-on sentences, this should probably be the last time you click on this blog.

Oh and this is also for all the Aunts/God Mothers who consistently give me shit about not posting blogs.  You win ladies - I'm back (you know, until I get too busy to post again).